My Way or the Highway

11 Mar

I’ve always found it funny that a lot of people have a lack of understanding for the cliche, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat”.  Even though a lot of people have that misconception of the cliche and they expect things to go about in a tune of their own particular liking.  Usually people that wanna be tolerated or claim they’re different.  Those are the same people that’s unwilling to accept the same trait in others.  The maturation process should coerce us to become less selfish.  We should always look forward to the future with high expectations not hesitation.  Don’t get me wrong, I do realize that there are a few different reasons why we as a people do some of those things.  One main reasoning is pain.  To me, pain can be broken down into two different categories.  In which I view as clean pain and dirty pain.  Clean pain is a normal pain which comes with living an ordinary life (losing a love one, humiliation, depression, etc.).  Then there is a dirty pain.  I consider dirty pain to be an unnecessary pain (mostly pathological, damaging thoughts brought forward from past experiences, self inflicted, etc.).  We need to work on unraveling our emotions when it has our heart in a bind.  Especially when it comes to getting to know someone new.  There’s no point in wanting to get more than what you’re willing to give.  I’ve also heard of theories that there are different methods of love and I will say I agree to a certain extent.  But I will also like to add that I believe there is only one way to love and that’s with all of your heart.  In fact God commands us to Love.  Real Love should always constrain us.  No matter what our: moods, feelings or attitudes may be.  Love will always ground us and pull us back into fold.  We also need to learn how to convey our emotions in a way that’s not confusing or misinterpreted.  A lot of people have different ways and things that they respond to or they’re more susceptible to.  We need to realize that some people are or they respond better to: givers, receivers, talkative people, touchy feely people, comforters, etc.  We just have to be better prepared understanding wise towards our counterpart or potential counterpart. Just so we can understand their particular emotional revenues or outlets.  Don’t focus on not cheating, focus on loving me instead.  If someone is focusing on loving you, you’d  have no reason to urge them not to cheat.  At the end of the day, there are no rule books on how to love or receive love.  But there is a God that’s willing to guide us through loving: him, ourselves and everyone else. 

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Love Recognition

11 Feb

I have always been fascinated with the fact that babies recognize their mother’s voice and the way their mother’s feel (even in the dark).  One of my friends told me that his son would rub his chest to see if he was the mother or not.  The baby boy was only 5mths at the time but he still realized which parent was willing to rock him to sleep all night.  While I toiled over these events and a few more, a light bulb in my brain lit up. A lot of people have certain criteria or characteristics in which someone must fall into to become a potential mate.  Its almost as if we have designed a love prototype in our minds and if the person that’s trying to draw our attention doesn’t meet the schematic.  They basically get waived from the trial process of our heart’s.  I can recall many of the cartoon movies that reached out to the young girls of my generation. (Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, etc.)  My point is, a lot of people have predetermined qualities based on: other people relationships, things they’ve heard from family / friends or even things they’ve seen on TV.  The only blueprint that we have on what love really is, is the way Christ walked this earth.  In fact we as a people didn’t realize his worth or what he meant to us in the process of him dwelling with us.  So how can we determine the exact description of what love is suppose to look like?  Love is a conglomerate of emotions that evolve with: vulnerability, experiences and faith.  There’s no way to put a picture to it or rationalize that particular way of thinking when it comes to meeting it head on.  Hypothetically speaking, if the same babies were born and the parents were switched after the birthing process.  The babies would grow up loving their new parents as if they were the original ones.  Love isn’t prerecorded in our minds, its a reality tv series starring our heart’s.

Cruel Intentions

20 Jan

As a child i could remember hearing the cliche “love conquers all” I didn’t really understand that until recently.  As I went through the maturation process of becoming a real man and not just getting older.  There were certain things that bothered me concerning the normal commonalities of a typical relationship.  One thing that never sat too well with me.  Was when people offer themselves and their entirety to someone who’s just in the situation to pass time or for other unspoken reasons.  I can’t ever see myself bending and strecthing outside the realms of my individuality to please someone else.  I feel as though a heart is too precious and vital to be misappropriately handled with such abuse.  Another thing that has always stirred me in the wrong way.  Is when people are very selfish in the initial states of a connection.  I feel that with any connection some strongholds whether their bad or good,  are gonna loosen eventually. With some being beneficial and the others being detrimental to the relationship.  But I also believe that in the beginning if both parties aren’t putting forth an effort (not saying that they should both be equal, because people make strides and move forward at different paces) then you should count your loses.  Because usually the one that’s bending and compromising their individuality.  That particular person happens to be the same one with a weeping heart at the end of the debacle.  I’ve often pondered how to differentiate the line drawn between vulnerability and stupidity?  On one hand you want to be open towards the person that draws your interest but on the other you don’t wanna fall victim to game.  Something that would help with avoiding the victim end of the ordeal.  Is learning to accept people for who they are and not allowing yourself to think that you can personally aide in changing them.  We all at one point or another have showed up somewhere looking for a heart and left with a rain check.  Hopefully the next time this takes place, the actual product in which we acquire is in stock.

Emotional Road Rage

18 Dec

I’ve never been one to have road rage.  Sure I’ve been in many: traffic jams, I’ve been cut off in the fast lane, I’ve nearly been ran off the road, people have ran lights and almost hit me but even with all of that being said I’ve never reacted negatively towards any of it.  A lot of people believe that we control karmas’ destiny when it comes to one another.  Meaning if someone hurts or harm’s us that we should speed up that particular persons consequence, rather than wait on life to take its course.  I’ve never known love to have peripheral vision.  Love doesn’t take the time to see what’s happening on the sideline, it simply stays focused on the task that’s ahead of it.  Which tells me that we shouldn’t look for something to be wrong or even react in a negative manner simply because of a bump on the road.  We as a people tend to lack what I call emotional patience.  We need to understand that people go through all types of emotional climaxes before they even become apart of our lives and there’s no way of knowing the different ways in which they’ve dealt with them.  We just have to try to be patient enough and understanding to know that sometimes lights are gonna be red in different emotional situations.  Just because the lights or other relationships that are parallel to you seem to stay green a lot longer than yours, that doesn’t mean you’re not gonna have an opportunity to move forward when your light turns green.  You just have to wait until its your turn to go.  With that being said, some lights are going to be yellow and we all know what that means.  Try not to create a cautious environment just because you’re on emotional crutches or braces that you’ve received from a previous relationship.  Maybe that’s Gods way of telling you that you should walk towards love and slow down.  It could be his way of saying slow down and stop speeding in a school zone.  Especially if you’re dealing with an emotional child (emotionally impotent) instead of an opened hearted adult.  Sometimes there are roads in our lives that aren’t made to be traveled on.  Sure it may seem like its a direct path towards your potential destination but our path isn’t always the path that the Lord has prepared for us.  With that being said he may send a car your direction (some type of sign) to alter your speed, help you change lanes or to create some type of detour.  When this takes place we shouldn’t: curse, worry or fret because in the end he’s preventing accidents from taking place.

Emotional Boomerang

14 Sep

As a kid I was raised by my mother and my step father. During those foundation years of my life. I heard a lot of negativity concerning my biological father. I even experienced him breaking many promises on a regular basis. It would seem that after so long I would’ve gave up on him or lost faith in the matter in its entirety. But the truth is, I was extremely elated every time I saw the old man. Those events made me ask myself. “Do emotions really go away?” Or do we just bury them under walls of defense mechanisms? I’ve dated a few women in my life and some of my relationships were extremely bad. However, some of them were pretty good. Some ended simply because of small details that me and my counterpart were both being very stubborn over. Usually when two people are going through a break up caused by irreconcilable differences and both parties blame one another. There’s a lot of tongue bashing, they claim the other person is the problem and then they work on moving on. It’s funny how easy it is to forget someone when: there’s no visual contact, no calls or texts being exchanged but it’s an entirely different matter when you come into contact with someone. When you lock eyes or even hug that person. As simple as it sounds, those things can magically trigger feelings that have been subsiding for quite sometime. I believe that we sometimes cheat on our hearts with our minds. Meaning we over think situations and draw conclusions from it. In the process of us doing so we involve our emotions. Causing us to break our own hearts along the way. Everyone says they wanna find someone that’s gonna be 100% honest with them. My question is, “when will we ever take the time out to be honest with ourselves?”

Understanding how today effects tomorrow

22 Aug

Throughout my life I’ve bottled up enough emotions to quench love’s thirst for a lifetime.  There are many paths down lovers journey but only one determines your personal happiness.  Events transpire and leave wounds that time will never heal.  Grieving over yesterday limits your tomorrow, since we only have one life to live.  Why do we fight love more often than we do temptation?  Allowing lust to work overtime while our hearts are on vacation.  My Great Grandma died when I was 19.  Her death alone caused my heart to stop.  Shortly after her death I started seeking her replacement in my heart.  Not knowing I was seeking something that I just so happened to be scared of, at that point in my life.  Anytime someone potentially entered my emotional atmosphere, my defense mechanisms went to work.  Finding any and everything wrong with that person.  For the sole purpose of so-called protecting me.  During this particular stage in my life I blamed every one besides myself.  Instead of me realizing that I was the problem, I steadily moved from one chick to the next.  I also ran into a few women whom stated that prior to their last relationship, they were not the person in which they are currently.  I’ve never understood why the people that do the right things in relationships, decide to alter their methods or approach.  Whoever your mate was at the time just didn’t work out.  I’ve worked plenty of jobs and I can’t recall either one changing their policies or mission statements, based on a bad worker.  They simply fired the person and held interviews to fill that position.  We should all work on remembering the lesson and forgetting the pain, because you’ll never know if today was your last tomorrow.

Eviction Notice

27 Jul

While driving down the street the other day a cop pulled me over.  He followed normal protocol by asking for my license and insurance.  Vehicle-wise everything was ok.  Meaning my registration, inspection sticker and even my insurance were all up to date.  My problem was my address on my license didn’t match my current address.  This particular incident caused my mind to wonder.  A lot of people’s emotions and hearts are still with people that evicted them in the past.  Anytime my parents decided to move when I was a child.  We packed up all of our valuables and if we did leave something.  It was because we no longer wanted or valued it.  I don’t ever recall us going back to see the most recent occupants or anything of that nature.  Whenever you move or move on, visiting the past isn’t called for.  Simply because presently you’re in a new situation.  In fact the only reason my father went back to any old property, was to collect rent.  Why do people allow tenants to rent their emotions and in turn pay them back with: loneliness, sorrow, pain, suffering, depression, etc.  Never allow someone to have a tight grip on your life or be able to dictate future relationship statuses.  Usually when people pick up and move.  The reasoning circumvents around: going to a better neighborhood, increase in pay so they find a better place to stay, or maybe there’s a cheaper spot that happens to be better than the current one.  Either way all of those options points towards improving your personal situation.  So why when we move on from someone we choose to: keep our tears in a bad neighborhood, our hearts in a construction zone, our emotions chained up in the backyard?  Before the officer let me go with a warning I asked him.  “why am I required to update my new address on my license”?  His response was “so we’ll know how to find you”.  We should always be able to locate our own hearts, because you never know when cupids gonna decide to pick up his next arrow.