External love vs. Internal love

6 Jan

My great grandmother has been deceased for over 11yrs now.  Throughout my life experiences with her, there were many lessons being taught day in and day out.  Some of which I really wasn’t ready to understand because of my tender age.  One incident that comes to mind is her baking cakes and pies for the holidays.  I can recall her baking a couple of chocolate cakes on a particular thanksgiving.  One cake was made with her secret recipe and the other she forgot to add a few ingredients to it.  On the outside looking in, the cakes looked exactly the same.  But the inside was were the difference took place.  Don’t get me wrong the cake wasn’t awful but it wasn’t up to par with the usual desserts my granny made. 
As I grew wiser through the years that particular cake incident dawned on me.  We as humans often see: movies, couples at picnics or just people that seem to be in love out in the public and we want and yearn for that.  But what we fail to realize is the heavy burdens of the heart.  Which includes: internal struggles, pain and stress.  They weigh a lot more emotionally than holding hands and kissing in public.  Happiness and success are both viewed from the outside and that’s something that I’ve never understood.  Seeing that happiness is an internal trait and that success is based off of that particular individuals assessment of themselves.  Internal struggles are in a league of their own.  I say that because we usually face them on our own.  External struggles can be seen by others and if we’re lucky enough.  There are always love ones or family members that are there to help tackle some of those issues.  Internal struggles usually have us in a one man army type of ordeal unless we invite someone in. They wake up with us in the morning and they go to sleep with us at night.  Pain on the other hand leaves emotional potholes in our heart’s.  Usually whenever we run into these potholes we feel the bumps at its extremes.  It effects: judgment, sensibility and our character’s.  We often tend to try to manage the pain in which we’re experiencing in our relationships.  Whether we’re masking the pain or creating facades for the public eye.  The way in which we go about doing this can potentially put us in an emotional vulnerable state.  When we are stressed we become less attentive with our relationship.  We tend to concentrate more on our own situation and we forget how it affects our partner’s.  Soon afterwards there’s a gap in the understanding in the relationship.  Leading to a breakdown in the connection that you share.  On the outside looking in, a win is always a win.  There’s an old cliche that state’s “never judge a book by its cover”. We have to open it up and read page after page.  After all, the numbers on the inside is what actually counts. 


One Response to “External love vs. Internal love”

  1. Shelia laster December 29, 2014 at 2:54 am #

    Great read. Love the examples you provided.

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